Thursday, October 30, 2008

So silly!

I just had to add another anal quality to my list...

"You know you're a perfectionist when... "

~ You have to trace the ballot bubbles perfectly and fill them in evenly and precisely every.single.time.

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

It probably took me longer to make my ovals perfect on the voter's ballot than it did to figure out what my votes would be.

;~D christa jean

Monday, October 27, 2008

Childlike

I figured I needed to lighten it up a bit, since my last post was so loooong and deeeeeep and kinda depressing!

Here are few of the funny things I hear daily from my babes. They always make me giggle!

Grace, age 6: "Mommm! Joy is stinky! She smells like Tunapoop!"

Olivia, age 4: She is still trying to master English and says silly things daily, so many that I can't remember them all! I'll give her an instruction like, "Please go clean up your toys" and she'll say back, "Huh? There's mean little boys?" I'm not willing to say that she can't hear well, I think she is just trying to make sense of what she is hearing. Notice how politely I asked her too!
And she still calls caterpillars, "callapitters"!

Joy, age 2: Just started saying prayers at the table. Sooo cute! Here is a typical 2 yr.old prayer: "Fank you da Desus. Fank you da food. Fank you Safie (that's Gracie) ridabike. Fank you Liwa (Olivia, of course) ridabike. Fank you Doy (herself) ridabike.
Fank you da man. (Wha?!)
A Man."

Laughter is always the best medicine!

~ christa jean

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Shaken

The music on my playlist is the beating of my heart. Play, if you so desire.


There are some lessons in life we wish not to be students of. They come unbidden and take us by surprise. We cannot wish them away, we can only try to respond to them in a humble way.

Remember that I've said, I like order, I like to stay in the same lane, I do not like change... This year will forever be marked as a year of loss and change. I didn't want my life to change, everything seemed to be good. I recall my favorite youth pastor saying these words: "Good is the enemy of Best." I don't know that I understood it then. In fact, I remember pondering it in terms of a mate for myself, thinking that I didn't wan't someone who seemed good for me, I wanted God's best. I got what I wanted! Now when I ponder that statement I see that I may have been trying to keep good as my god. I have been viewing change as my enemy, but now, I'm beginning to see a bigger plan. Flavia Gaines Leitch states this: "Nothing goes out of my life but to make room for something better."

It still is difficult for me to accept, when it seems that everything stable in my little life is being shaken. The good thing about shaking is that you find where the faulty foundations are.

Everything within me is screaming "RETREAT!"... I am overwhelmed, bombarded from within and without. It would be easier to just hide behind that well-used facade.

"Like a coin, hiding in the corner, trying not to be swept, I was trying not to be swept." (Caedmon's Call)

Shhh, be still my soul. Listen. I can hear a small whisper speaking softly, "surrender".

I see a choice ever before me, facing me daily. Will I choose life or death? Death like quicksand waits for me, to sink and be swallowed into the dark and depressing hole. It would be so easy to just let myself slip in. Been there, done that, hated it.

Then life, sweet Life, beckons me, bidding me to be wrapped into it's everlasting arms of strength.

O BLESSED life!
the heart at rest
When all without tumultuous seems;
That trusts a higher Will, and deems
That higher Will, not mine, the best.
~ WILLIAM TIDD MATSON ~

I think I will choose life. It requires trust, which is sometimes slippery to hold on to. And faith which seems to have, for the moment, disappeared.

"My faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave. My faith is like shifting sand, so I stand on grace." (Caedmon's Call)

I have been cleaning house a lot lately and I am amazed at how much grime has been hiding in plain sight! I guess you just eventually stop seeing it after two and a half years, you become accustomed to it.

Too much grime have I let stay in the corners of my mind. Lies believed. I have stumbled across a big lie that had found a deep recess to hide in... this lie has been casting shadows on the truth. The lie? God is not ultimately good. He is not good to me. He just wants to teach me lessons all the time for my betterment.

Time to clean this old house too. Time to believe in His delight towards me.

"Be persuaded, timid soul

that He has loved you too much to cease loving you."

~ Archbishop Fenelon ~

If you did choose to push play on my playlist, you heard these lyrics from Sanctus Real. I've been hearing it time and again on the radio and think it describes plainly what I have been feeling.

"It's time for healing time to move on

It's time to fix what's been broken too long

Time make right what has been wrong

It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me

All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos somehow there's peace

It's hard to surrender to what I can't see but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone Time to begin again

Re-evaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills

So show me what it is you want from me

I give everything I surrender... (Chorus)

Time to face up

Clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

That I've wanted to say for so many years

Time to to release all my held back tears... (Chorus)"

I can see it just beyond the next hill... joy.

"I will sing of Your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy." ~Jars of Clay

"I waited patiently for the LORD;

And He inclined to me,

And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth—

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will put their trust in the LORD."

~ Psalm 40:1-3 ~





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You know you're a perfectionist when...

~ You organize your husband's t-shirt drawer by color.

~ You have to leave straight lines when vacuuming.

~ You get irritated at the kids for putting their fingers on your freshly washed windows!

In my opinion, perfectionism is a curse. And thankfully, I have mellowed out a bit.

I do not color coordinate my husband's drawers anymore, nor do I leave perfectly straight lines when vacuuming. I do, however, get cranky when I see fingerprints on my windows. And I do still like order and everything in it's place and some other anal qualities that I won't mention. Ahhhh, yes, I am still a work in progress. A recovering perfectionist, I suppose.

"A-hem... my name is Christa and I'm a... Perfectionist."
There's got to be a group out there for people like me, right?! ;-)

What would you add to my list?

~ christa jean

Friday, October 17, 2008

One last Hurrah!

We decided to ditch this town and give the Oregon Coast one last chance to take our breath away.
Sweet sisters.

Mmm, fudge!

Joy especially took thrill in chasing the nasty seagulls.


"Svimmin pool, Mommy!"

Not sure if I can get my butt outta this position.

Sun smile down upon us, give us warmth.

What a catch!

Never a dull moment with him!


Goofy love

First time ever on the Carousel

Of course, she would pick the sea unicorn!


Look closely... Joy's quite the eye crosser.
I didn't even ask her to do that!
~christa jean

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Whiner

I hope I don't ever bore you with quotes from one of my favorite authors... it's not that I don't have anything to say from my own heart, it's that she's already said it and said it so well. Her words speak to the core of me every time.

"Human life is full of trouble, which doesn't come from the dust, said Job's friend Eliphaz, nor does it sprout from the ground. Man is born to trouble. Compare your list of troubles with one famous man's:

He had a difficult childhood
Less than one year of formal schooling
Failed in business at age 31
Defeated for legislature at 32
Failed again in business at 33
Elected to the legislature at 34
His fiancee died when he was 35
Defeated for speaker at 38
Defeated for electorate at 40
At 42 married a woman who became a burden, not a help
Only one of four sons lived past age 18
Defeated for congress at 43
Elected to congress at 46
Defeated for congress at 48
Defeated for senate at 55
Defeated for vice president at 56
Defeated for senate at 58
Finally elected president.


He was Abraham Lincoln, of course. When I look at his list of setbacks, I wonder if I've ever had a problem...

Everything about which we are tempted to complain may be the very instrument whereby the Potter intends to shape His clay into the image of His Son--a headache, an insult, a long line at the check-out, someone's rudeness or failure to say thank you, misunderstanding, disappointment, interruption. As Amy Carmichael said, 'See in it a chance to die,' meaning a chance to leave self behind and say YES to the will of God, to be 'conformable unto His death.' Not a morbid martyr-complex but a peaceful and happy contentment in the assurance that goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives. Wouldn't our children learn godliness if they saw the example of contentment instead of complaint? acceptance instead of rebellion? peace instead of frustration?"
~ Elisabeth Elliot ~

I post this quote tonight because in a few days I will post some of my own thoughts... thoughts and feelings that could seem just a little eensy weensy bit complaint-like, kind of. And maybe as I'm typing them out, I will recall these wise words and change my tune. Or maybe not, maybe I'll just be really vulnerable and not try to make it seem like "it's all good".

You'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, I have to go take my daily dose of Tums and eat a piece of chocolate or something. ;-) And then ponder this one last sentence:

"The deep peace that comes from deep trust in God's lovingkindness is not destroyed even by the worst of circumstances, for those Everlasting Arms are still cradling us, we are always 'under the Mercy.'"


Peace of Christ to you.

~christa jean

Friday, October 10, 2008

Autumn days, cozy nights

I couldn't help but notice all the fun and fallish decor happening around bloggy-town and like an insecure Jr. High girl, had to be in on the "in crowd" and do it too!
Thanks to Bren and Jules who gave me that extra nudge to make my home lovely and warm!

Come with me on a tour of my home!

The entryway table... before
The entry way table... after! Lit candles make all the difference!
My dining room table... kinda plain... the before.
The after!
After "the after" when I decided I wasn't totally in love with the first "after"!Fun and funky placemats from IKEA (vinyl is a must!)
Cool tiered thingy full of moss and birds eggs...
Now full of more sugared gourds!
Now here's where I need your help ladies! I love my mantel decor, but seashells and coral and sand just don't fit the season!
Here, you can see that I emptied most of the apothecary jars and started with pinecones, some $ Tree leaves and sticks... but, as soon as I took the pic, I ditched the sticks. They looked WRONG! I'm stuck! I will probably get some candy corns for one of the jars but what about the other 2?

Your input is desirable!
I've so enjoyed taking virtual tours of your homes, I hope you've enjoyed mine!
Happy, Cozy nights to you!
~christa jean
P.s. Pop on over to Deena's for more fun decor ideas!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Firstborn

With her round cheeks, blueberry eyes and fiery red hair...



She taught me how to find grace.



Can this be that same baby?

I Love You, Grace Elaine. Happy six years old!

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~christa jean

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-changes

The winds of change are ever blowing upon me it seems.
Right now it is not such a gentle breeze. More like a tempest I'd say!

Everything around me is changing. I'd like to say that I'm changing on the inside too. That will be better judged in hindsight I'm sure.

Here is the most obvious change:



I'm being overtaken by this belly!

I'm not being a braggart when I say that all of my pregnancies have been relatively easy, just stating a blessed fact about me. I've never thrown up, nor gained tons of water weight, nor had elephant ankles. But just so you don't think it's all been a splendid walk in the park, I do have huge stretch marks (goodbye forever bikinis!), and I do get horrid heartburn almost daily.

But here's a new thing! This is the first pregnancy in which I've felt that my whole upper half is going to come exploding through my pelvis any minute. For the last 2 months, my pelvic bone has felt as though it would like to split in two. This, of course, makes getting up, rolling over in bed, sitting, and all other motions that require me to move my dairy-aire, extremely painful. I've got the pregnancy waddle down to an expertise and I still have 3 months to go.

Three more months?!!! How can I endure this till the end!!!

I think of others who have to be on bed-rest, are still throwing up at my stage, are horribly sick and I know I can't complain. Much.

This photo is on my fridge and I use it to keep me in check. Daily.

Love it.

Times are changing. I can only cling to this truth:

"But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD;

I say, 'You are my God.'

My times are in Your hand..." (Psalm 31:14-15)

~christa jean