Visions of boots were floating through my head this morning as well. And clothes... and purses.
There is something about this time of the year that kinda makes me go cuh-razy (with googly eyes rolling in my head). I'm not sure if it is the memories of a more "advanced" allowance for school clothes (thanks mom!), or that cooler weather is on the horizon, or that the clothing marketeers really are effective, orrrrrrrr that I've been reading too many shopping magazines lately. Well, whatever the reason is, I want. I want to look cute. I want to be stylish. I want those boots I saw and drooled over. But, I can't. I can't have. And I really shouldn't be wanting like I do. It only breeds discontent.
I went in to apply for WIC (Women, Infants and Children ~ food and nutrition assistance) a month ago. I walked into the WIC clinic and was surrounded by mothers of different ethnicity, crying kids, and pregnant teenagers. I felt out of place. Don't I live in an adorable house? Don't I have a closet full of cute clothes? Didn't I used to spend loads of money on the healthiest food and all organic produce?
I thought "I'm not one of them" and sat down. But it was an ugly thought and it caught me by suprise. I chewed on it for a bit and then decided to spit it out. Pride. I won't swallow my pride this time, no way, it was like an old piece of nasty gum that had lost it's flavor hours ago, yet I was still chomping on it. That gum doesn't deserve another chew, you realize, and pa-tooey, into the trash it flies.
If being in a state of need strips off a little more pride, then SO BE IT.
I began to see those ladies and babies and teenagers with different eyes then. They were lovely, they were precious, they were loved.
And those boots that I love? Take a peek.
Are you drooling too? Or maybe your mouth just dropped because you saw the price of those pretties. Yeah, mine too. Believe me, if I had that amount laying around, I would not be spending it on boots! I would spend it on something more practical like our house payment or something.
You see, they're just another thing that I don't really need. I don't need them to make me happy, for that happiness is fleeting. I don't need them for other's approval of my fashion sense, for my true worth is in Christ.
Besides, what if during this pregnancy, my feet explode and my calves enlarge and I can't get into boots forever after? Now wouldn't that be a shame!
If being in a state of need causes me to see what is really important to me, then SO BE IT!
"Be content with such things as ye have."