31 Days: Learning to Just BE... A Mess {Day 28}

"Didn't you brush your hair today?" come the sneering words.
"Your hair is all stringy and hanging in your face, it doesn't look good." I am hissing in her face.
I am not proud of this moment.

I see something in myself.

I could use the excuse that my children need to learn better hygiene, or I could just own up to the truth. The truth that I think their appearances/ behaviour reflects back to me. The truth that I am embarrassed.

If you heard these words every day...
Don't be so messy.
Don't be such a troublemaker.
Don't be so noisy.
Don't be so selfish.
Don't be so ungrateful.
Don't be such a whiner.
What would you think about yourself?

Ask me to tell you good things about my children and I will name a few.
Ask me to tell you my children's weaknesses, and they flow freely from my tongue.

I am not proud of this.

I hear these words in my own head, constant reminders of my own weaknesses.
I need a brain washing. A renewing of my mind.
A mind renewed is powerful.

I see darkness. I am blind to the light in my children.
I need healing of these blind eyes.
Eyes that see fully are clear. Cleared.

"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be single [whole, healthy]. your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye be evil [diseased], your whole body shall be full of darkness.

If therefore the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness!"

{Matthew 6:22-23}

I am so thankfull for the Holy Spirit.
He comes to me in a gentle way and says, "Hey, you know when you spoke those harmful words to your daughter? Well, those words bruised her heart ... go make it right/"

What if I just started marking down the good? Wouldn't that change what I see?

"There be many [darn accusers] that say, 'Who will show us any good?'

Lord, lift up the light of your countenance upon us. You have put gladness in my heart,

more than in the time when their grain and wine increased."

{Psalm 4:6-7}

 

 A harvest of thankfullness is what I want to bring forth.

 

No matter if my hair is a mess.

 

~ christa jean ~
~~~

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31 Days: Learning to Just BE... A Warrior {Day 17}

To Arms!

 

"If you don’t fight for joy, it’s your children who lose.

What do I want my children to remember — my joy in clean floors, made beds and ironed shirts — or my joy of the Lord?

You will be most remembered — by what brought you most joy."

 

These are some of the excruciating words I read today. Every time I read the lovely author, Ann Voskamp, I cry. Seriously. I cry every time. It is as if she was writing about my life. Only her words ebb and flow and carry you along the current, deep calling to deep. Such beautiful words, sent to me for such a time as this. She reminds me, no implores me to fight on!

 

For quite a while now, I have had this urging thought in my mind that I need to begin the day, totally surrendered to Him. I am in a war for my soul and the souls of my children.

I will fight this war, on my face. He has already won. I'm just agreeing with it and walking forth victorious.

 

Now, get thyself over to read the rest of "Why the Battle for Joy is Really Worth it {Crazy Joy 17}"

 

~ christa jean ~
~~~

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31 Days: Learning to Just BE... JoyFILLED {Day 16}

I awoke to these words...

"Tap in to the taproot."

Which begged the question, "What is a taproot?"

Here are some findings:

~ an enlarged, somewhat straight to tapering plant root that grows downward. It forms a center from which other roots sprout laterally.

~ many taproots are modified into storage organs, which is the part of the plant specifically modified for storage of energy (carbohydrates) or water.

~ Storage organs often grow underground, where they are better protected from herbivores.

~ Storage organs often, but not always, act as perennating organs which enable plants to survive adverse conditions (such as cold, excessive heat, lack of light or drought).

~ some taproots (e.g. carrots) grow long to find the deeper water.

Reminds me to the verse at the forefront of Psalms...

"Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,

nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law does he meditate day and night.

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he does shall prosper."

{Psalm 1:1-3}

No wonder I've been so dry! No wonder I've had no energy (need more carbs? haha). No wonder I've been "eaten." Have I been tapping into Him?

Joy is not just an emotion. It is a fruit of the Spirit.

How do I get more Joy? Stay in the Spirit.
Where do I find my strength? It comes from Him.
Where do I hide myself? Under the Shadow of His wings.

I am so very thankful that His mercies are new every morning and that each day brings a "Do Over!"

~ christa jean ~
~~~

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31 Days: Learning to Just BE... JoyFULL {Day 15}

It was a rotten day.
Let me re-phrase that.
I was rotten all day.

I made my children cry a lot. I made them clean a lot. I was not nice.
I see this tendency toward clean-aholicism and I do not want it. I have given my children the impression that the most important thing to me is having a clean house.
I really do like having a clean house, and I would like to help my kiddos into good habits when they are young, but so far, I have gone to the wrong extreme.

{got some simple cleaning tips from this mom}

However, I can say that, I didn't stay rotten all day. By evening, I had confessed to 6 different people my sins and mistakes from the day. Three, being my daughters.

I see how God turns all things to work toward His good in us.
One of my daughters asked my forgiveness for a rude tone of voice (unprompted, I might add!) and I was thankful for repentance and restoration.

I may not have been an example of love and joy, but, I darn well was an example of repentance and brokenness.

What really matters is His presence being FULL in this house. That is what I want for my children, for them to be FILLED with Him.

On days like this, I cling to a promise given to me by a prophet three years ago...

"And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD;

and great shall be the peace of thy children."

{Isaiah 54:13}

 

Yes, and amen.

 

~ christa jean ~
~~~

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31 Days: Learning to Just BE... JoyFULL {Day 14}

{source}

Choose. Joy.

Those two little words have caused much angst within.

Sounds easy enough, right?!

I may stay on the topic of joy for a few days. Partly, because I need to talk it out (haha, "talk"), and, partly because, I am too tired to write much again tonight.

But, I will tell you about a small victory that I had in this area of my life.
The day we returned from vacation, and there were loads and loads and loads of laundry to do, I could have been grumpy. Really grumpy. Instead, every time I wanted to complain, I just thanked God that we even had clothes to wash and wear. It really did change my attitude!

Today, I had a stinky attitude all afternoon. I probably chose it. I certainly did not choose joy.
So, before you go to sleep, you can pray for me. :-D
For I am determined to have it!

{source}

 

~ christa jean ~
~~~

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