Monday, January 5, 2009

0 Days

Today my baby countdown says 0.
If I were typing this post last Monday, I probably would be having a massive fit and filling your eyes with a list of complaints.

But not today. I am at peace. I am calm.
I realize the due date is always a guess and I'm willing to let it go.
I know that this baby will come at the perfect time.
I know that the time is near.

I have had 4-5 nights of strong contractions... they just like to go away when I lay my head down to sleep. And without grossing you out, let's just say there's something going on down yonder!

In the meantime, I've been cleaning and organizing as much as my lumbering self will allow and then taking luxurious baths. I've been practicing deep breathing and dreaming of a smooth delivery. I am excitedly anticipating this birth because it will be in my own home. I won't have to rush around packing a bag and then change into that ridiculous hospital gown. I won't have to be strapped to that uncomfortable fetal monitor nor be poked numerous times to get the horrific IV inserted. I won't feel ravenous and only be given jello and ice chips! I won't feel helpless and out of control in that sterile environment. I'm not making a statement against anyone else who loves hospital births, I just knew that for me, this time, it wasn't what I wanted.

This time, my midwives come to me! They have to pack the bags and gear. They are fully trained for emergencies, IV's, etc. They cook me a big pot of soup. They speak softly and gently and help me on this path. They massage me. They give me guidance. They do my laundry. It's all about me, me, me! Heehee, sounds so selfish, but after these 9 months, I think I deserve it! This will be a birth to remember and don't worry, I'll tell my story when it's over.

It is a new year and I get to have a baby! A baby boy! I'm still flabbergasted that I'm having a baby. How do these things happen?! ;-D

Like all of you, I too have been pondering what this new year will hold. What surprises it will bring. I have been pondering what I want to be, how I want to live...
I love what one friend said on her blog, that she plans on doing something special with/for her husband each day. I love that. I'm not going to make a huge list because I'm tired of trying so hard "to do". But I may jot a few things down that I'd like to have the grace to become. And, I think I know just the Guy who has enough grace for me.

His grace is suffient for all our needs this year. And for that, I say "Thank You!"

~christa jean


Jenny said...

Christa! How did I not know you are having a home-birth? Good for you. It's important to make good decisions for yourself. It's okay to make some things all about YOU. And birthing is the right time to do just that.

I love ya and can't wait to hear...

Martha said...

I noticed your cute comment on Angela's blog and I just had to pay you a visit!! Your blog makes my eyes fill with tears... in a GOOD way LOL. It feels like yesterday when I authored my own blog to document my every pregnancy gripes and joys. Too precious!! I wish you luck and oh my, I don't even know you that well and I'm super excited for you LOL

Rennie said...


We had a patient come in the other day that brought her little girl in with no intention of having someone pick her up. She labored sans epidural as she rocked her daughther to sleep, put her down on the couch and climbed in bed to birth her child. Amazing, truly amazing. It made me think of you.

Not that you have a lot of spare time right now but if you get a chance to watch The Business of Being Born, it will be worth your time and reiterate how amazing it is to have a home birth. We will be praying for you!