Monday, March 30, 2009


I was good.
I was good at being good.
Good became my god.

At some point, early on in my childhood, I became addicted.
I liked the attention I received when I was good. I craved it. I strove to be better so I could get more accolades. I was the epitomy of the "Good Christian Girl".

Sure, I wasn't all good all the time. I still fought with my sisters, to the chagrin of my parents! I cheated on homework once or twice. I lied. I tried a smoke. I kissed a boy. But all in all, I wasn't that bad.
I thought I just had a really strong guilty conscience that kept me out of trouble. I think now, looking back, I just had to be good. Being good kept me in my parents' smiles. Being good kept me as teacher's pet. Being good kept me out of hell.

But being good betrayed me.

stay tuned...
~christa jean


Pamela said...

Wow, heavy stuff, babe! God must be getting you ready for something incredible, because your words are so poiniant (sp?) I pray that you rest in the knowledge of His grace and love for you. Yes, being good can be deceiving...none of us is good, no not one!! Oh the grace of God is AMAZING!!
Love you dear! Can't wait to hear more.

christa jean said...

Yes, it is heavy... but don't worry, there is a happy ending. ;-D
Trying to find time to finish my story!

Nette's Treasures said...

I am looking forward to here more of your story. I think that it is amazing how God shows us all the pieces that sometimes get overlooked keeping us away from more of who He is. :o) May you be blessed as you share this journey and all there is to come. ;o)