Enough Already!

Ahhhh, my top song is super moody, perfect for this post.

There are times in life when you feel out of control. The circumstances of life seem to be taking you down a river full of rapids and all you can do is hang on to your life jacket in hopes that you won't go under.

Have you ever been white-water rafting? It is an exhilarating experience. The Ultimate thrill. You realize as you are hurtling through the tumultuous water, that at any moment you could be flung from the raft and hit your head on a rock. But actually, the rocks are not the danger... every river guide will tell you that if you fall out of a raft, you must stay calm, don't panic. Lean back, with knees bent and arms crossed over your chest. Go along with the flow, if you hit a rock, push off with your legs and you'll float around it.

Calm. What is that?

Peace in the midst of tumult.

Knowing that you have a life jacket on and a Guide to help you.

The following is an exerpt from Oswald Chambers "My Utmost For His Highest", July 4th ~

One of God's Great Don'ts

"Fret not thyself, it tendeth only to evil doing." Psalm 37:8 (R.V.)

It is one thing to say "Fret not," but a very different thing to have such a disposition that you find yourself able not to fret. It sounds so easy to talk about "resting in the Lord" and "waiting patiently for Him" until the nest is upset - until we live, as so many are doing, in tumult and anguish, is it possible then to rest in the Lord? If this "don't" does not work there, it will work nowhere. This "don't" must work in days of perplexity as well as in days of peace, or it never will work. And if it will not work in your particular case, it will not work in anyone else's case. Resting in the Lord does not depend on external circumstances at all, but on your relationship to God Himself.

Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are; (oof, ouch) it is much more an indication of how really wicked we are. Fretting springs from a determination to get our own way. Our Lord never worried and He was never anxious, because He was not "out" to realize His own ideas; He was "out" to realize God's ideas. Fretting is wicked if you are a child of God.

Have you been bolstering up that stupid soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God? Put all "supposing" on one side and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. Deliberately tell God that you will not fret about that thing. All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God.

Worry. That thing that plagues me.

The worries jostle and struggle with one another for the place of importance in my mind.

I juggle them around until I grow weary. Better to drop them all.

So I did.

~ christa jean

Wha?!

Kid's say the funniest things! Like just the other day I overheard this conversation...

Olivia: "Daddy, when I'm a big girl can I dye my hair green?"

Daddy: "I'm not sure... "

Gracie pipes in from another room: "Just wait till you're a teenager, Olivia, then you can do whatever you want!"

Mommy: "Nuh Uh!"

Then there's the almost 3 year old's version of songs...

"Mary had a liddle man, liddle man, liddle man... "

"Away in da Angel, no criv for a bed
Da liddle Lor Desus aslee in da head
Da stars in da brite sky look down in da head.
Da liddle Lor Desus asleep in da hair."

"Santa Cwaus is comin' two times!" (I always thought it was "to town" ;)

Oh yeah, lovin' life!

~christa jean

Thank You

God!

Here's two pieces of great news!

1. We owed a very large chunk of money to the hospital from last February when we lost our baby. We have been steadily paying it down every month, but in very small amounts because we just don't have that much. It was at just under 6,000 this month. Then today we got a letter in the mail. The letter stated: "We understand you are experiencing a temporary hardship so we would like to offer assistance by writing off 100% of the balance." (!!!!!)
I love that they say "temporary"... I need to remember that.

A debt canceled is a marvelous thing.

2. My baby has been sleeping 5-6 hours in a row at night, leaving me a very happy and more sane mommy in the morning!!! Woohoo! Now, I'm not gonna brag on myself, but on a method that I have seen work again and again. That is routine. I keep my babies to an "Eat, Awake, Sleep" routine during the day. This has worked for all four of my babies now, so I'm totally sold on it. When I follow this routine, their sleep patterns usually follow their age. My Eliot is 6 weeks old today and is now sleeping almost 6 hours in a row at night! Wonderful how it works, yes?! I also try to make sure they don't get into the habit of falling asleep and staying asleep after nursing (except for the middle of the night!). Of course, this is harder with sleepyhead newborns, but eventually they learn that after they eat, it's time for play then time for sleepy!

Sleep is a wondrous thing.

~ christa jean

Milestones.

I have so many posts in my head, but can't seem to sit down and type them out thoughtfully. Here's a few pictures until then...

Eliot is now one month old.

He looks kinda like a cute balding old man.


Daddy loves me.


Rugged good looks.

It has begun!

Her cute little teeth will now be replaced by big goofy teeth.

Ahhhhh, growing up.

Daddy tells the best stories of all, complete with accents from around the world.

Love in the house.

The best thing.

Happy Valentines Day!

~christa jean

Made for love.

"There is only one happiness in life ~ to love and to be loved."

~ George Sand ~

1804-1876, French Novelist

I have been pondering love much of late. Seemingly appropo for the month of love, chocolates and Valentines, don't ya think?!

I've been pondering how I can become a more loving mommy to my girls. I do their laundry, feed them, fix their hair, read to them... naturally, they should know I love them, right?! But I think they don't. They may feel secure in this family, but do they know, really know that I love them?

I sought out a book, "Love in the House", a couple days ago, vaguely remembering the author's thoughts on the subject of love and words that touched me, convicted me, haunted me...

I quote: "A couple years ago I began to view my children in a unique way. I envisioned them with a sign around their neck that read, 'I don't know that you love me.' This is the truth: they don't know for sure. It is very easy for parents to take for granted that their children know their love for them... My parenting changed for the better when I recognized that I needed to verbally show my love for my children...

I also see my kids - especially when they grow into teenagers - each with an emotional cup. He or she brings me the cup daily as if to say, 'Please fill my cup today, Mom.'... If I don't pour my love into the cup the child will eventually turn away and seek other avenues for the love for which they hope."

I think this author has come to understand what is truly important, especially after having 13 children! I appreciated this book, not just for the peek into the dynamics of running a large family, but because of the vulnerability they show as they explain where they went wrong with their firstborn. They valued a moral sense of right and wrong and holiness and perfection in their spiritual walks above love. In their quest for those things, they failed at loving their children. They write out of the pain of their experience when they write these words: "Without it [love], life is a dank, empty room - cut off completely from the glories of the world outside."

Now, I can do one of two things: 1. Make excuses for myself, saying that I'm a quiet person, not ostentatious, not good at showing love, etc., or 2. Choose to be deliberate and creative. I would hate for my children to remember me as the aloof mother who only taught them how to clean house. So, I am choosing to change, and maybe as I speak forth loving words, I will begin to believe them and they will too.

"Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."

~ Henri Fredric Amiel ~

1821-1881, Swiss Philosopher, Poet, Critic

We are made from the fabric of love. Dear God, help me to know it.

~ christa jean