"There is only one happiness in life ~ to love and to be loved."
~ George Sand ~
1804-1876, French Novelist
I have been pondering love much of late. Seemingly appropo for the month of love, chocolates and Valentines, don't ya think?!
I've been pondering how I can become a more loving mommy to my girls. I do their laundry, feed them, fix their hair, read to them... naturally, they should know I love them, right?! But I think they don't. They may feel secure in this family, but do they know, really know that I love them?
I sought out a book, "Love in the House", a couple days ago, vaguely remembering the author's thoughts on the subject of love and words that touched me, convicted me, haunted me...
I quote: "A couple years ago I began to view my children in a unique way. I envisioned them with a sign around their neck that read, 'I don't know that you love me.' This is the truth: they don't know for sure. It is very easy for parents to take for granted that their children know their love for them... My parenting changed for the better when I recognized that I needed to verbally show my love for my children...
I also see my kids - especially when they grow into teenagers - each with an emotional cup. He or she brings me the cup daily as if to say, 'Please fill my cup today, Mom.'... If I don't pour my love into the cup the child will eventually turn away and seek other avenues for the love for which they hope."
I think this author has come to understand what is truly important, especially after having 13 children! I appreciated this book, not just for the peek into the dynamics of running a large family, but because of the vulnerability they show as they explain where they went wrong with their firstborn. They valued a moral sense of right and wrong and holiness and perfection in their spiritual walks above love. In their quest for those things, they failed at loving their children. They write out of the pain of their experience when they write these words: "Without it [love], life is a dank, empty room - cut off completely from the glories of the world outside."
Now, I can do one of two things: 1. Make excuses for myself, saying that I'm a quiet person, not ostentatious, not good at showing love, etc., or 2. Choose to be deliberate and creative. I would hate for my children to remember me as the aloof mother who only taught them how to clean house. So, I am choosing to change, and maybe as I speak forth loving words, I will begin to believe them and they will too.
"Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."
1821-1881, Swiss Philosopher, Poet, Critic
We are made from the fabric of love. Dear God, help me to know it.
~ christa jean