Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Move.

It all started one day when my hot drummer husband was out mowing the lawn. He had been out of work for a few months and was wondering what was next for him in life. Mowing the lawn must be a great time for thinking deep thoughts, because this is not the first time he has come inside and said to me, "While mowing the lawn... ".
The thought popped into his head, "I wonder if we'll end up moving to Washington."

"Did that really just come into my head? Crazy." he thought. "Well, if it's supposed to happen, I won't stop it and You'd have to convince my wife, God."
He forgot about it.

About a month later, while visiting his family in Washington, my sister-in-law said aloud the question that was on all their minds... "So, when are you guys moving up?"

My head whipped up and I laughed. In all the years we've been married, we would have never, I mean NEVER considered it
seriously. I probably just laughed out of nervousness, but the thought wouldn't leave my mind.

I have to admit, that in the beginning, as we began to truly ponder the possibility, I got rather excited. It had a been a rough year. Maybe I was excited because it would be my chance to run away. Start over. Clean slate.

You can't ever really run from the issues inside of you though.

After taking a month to think and talk and pray and fast, we believed that yes, indeedy, we should move. Finally, some direction, some answers! But then there was the waiting... and more waiting... and more waiting. Waiting for a job. Waiting for our house to sell. Waiting for something, anything to work the way we thought it should.

And with the waiting came the uncertainty.
It began in me and spread to him.
The longer it took for nothing to happen, the more doubtful I became. It sure didn't seem like doors were opening smoothly for us to glide on through.
Maybe we were wrong.

It's one thing to voice a concern, a hesitation... a husband and wife should be able to talk things out, looking at all the pros and cons, right? It's a totally different thing to voice doubts again and again, when you once were sure and your husband was sure and now you're making him unsure and anxious! I think there was a little bit of resentment that had snuck in also. Uh oh! Bad News Bears, for sure! I began to get huffy and resistant and well, you know that word... rhymes with itchy.

You could easily excuse my mood and say that I had good reason to act that way, my family is all here in town. Here is all I've ever known! Poor me.
But I know a little something (I'd better! After 10 years married!)... being content makes for a much more happy home than being contentious.

So, I prayed.
The dream came not long after I asked for help.
I saw my husband carrying me and running down green grassy hills and we were laughing together, a lot. It was a picture of joy and love and contentment and peace.
And I knew what it meant.

I decided to make a choice. I chose to allow my husband to carry me in this decision to move, believing, that in that place of being carried, I would find my joy and peace.
I did not just lay down like a doormat. I did not become a Stepford Wives freak. I know the word "submission" has awful connotations like that... no, I just made a choice to change my heart. Really! What else was I gonna do? Stay here with my parents?!

It was shortly after that, on a rare day when we had time to just sit and talk and pray together that Carter said out loud, "God, I just need You to tell me for certain right now what we are supposed to do!" Instantly, into his thoughts came the reference Deuteronomy 2:2. Sound familiar? Nope. Ha Ha. We had to look it up too.
This is what it said... still gives me goose bumps.

"Then God said,
'You've been going around in circles in these hills long enough,
go north.'"

Gee, could You be any clearer?

I know now that if we had moved right after our decision to do so(last fall), if our house had sold and he had got a job and everything had fallen into place, I would not have been ready.

Maybe I would have been a brat for a really long time. Little eyes are watching and I'm so glad I learned to let go.

Could we be wrong? Sure, but I'm not going to worry about it. I know He makes all things work out for those who love Him.

I am responsible to keep my husband's heart and that's what I aim to do.

I still kinda hope we'll be back. ;-D

~christa jean

P.S. Here I am blogging when I should be packing. I think I'm gonna have to leave you for a couple of weeks until all the mayhem settles down. I'll be back!


Youthful One said...

I LOVE it when you hear God so very clearly.

I'm still reeling from what He's recently said to me.

It delights me that you can be confident in knowing HE is leading you. There is really nothing better. You are trusting, and HE is making your paths straight.

It would be easy for me to say, "I hope you'll be back too! Soon!" But, I really don't feel that way. I really hope to stay in touch, hug on you in person when you visit here and we visit there and most of all I hope to hear of God's AMAZING testimony in your lives as He continues to lead and bless each of your family. I am truly delighted for your adventures to come.

Pamela said...

Oh dear one!! Your story is much like ours. God clearly spoke to both of us...at separate times...about moving to Lakeland. I had lived in Oregon since I was 5so moving away wasn't on the top of MY priority. But doing God's will was! I had a dream one night that we were packing up a big moving truck and heading East. That next morning Dan said, "You know we are moving to Florida, right?" I said, "I know." So even though I wasn't kicking and screaming (ok...so you didn't mention that you did any of that but I can imagine the turmoil in your heart before letting God take control) I still had my doubts along the way. But trusting God along side your husband is the BEST place to be!
May your new adventure be full of His grace and peace and lots of moments of laughter on those green hills. We love you and are praying for God's very best for your dear family!!
P.S. Is that a picture of the house you are moving out of? Beautiful! May your new home bring you even more joy, since you are living & moving in God's will.
Bless you!!

Anonymous said...

I really feel that the delay you experienced was because your ministry here was not done yet. God detained you from your great adventure until you finished helping those who were in need. He knows the times and the seasons.

Amy Cate said...

Wow, that was a fantastic testimony story - THANK YOU so much for sharing it and letting me sneak into your life for a few moments.
I disagree about running away - it's totally fun! Clean slates rock! Yes, you are right that you are left with the same things inside as before, but that will be there to deal with no matter where you live. And at least you can get away from people who treat you like crap! It's a nice reprieve.

All kidding (sort of) aside, it is actually nice to be socially free for a while from the hustle and bustle calendar. And then after a while you'll also be surprised to realize what and whom you miss and how much. But it can help to put priorities in place as you decide carefully what to add in and commit to your new schedule.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt as I'm a mover - I'm ready to go try living in a new place already...Houston's been nice, now let's see somewhere else. See what I mean? I have GOT to get on God's plan though. That is most important and I just love so much your story that impresses that upon me and I love it when he uses the unknown scripture to tell us exactly what we need to know.

Content rather than contentious... never heard that before... awesome way to put it.
Love you supermommyChrista!

Candice said...

This is such a great way that God has revealed his plan to you both. I know that as you go through this you will be blessed and be able to grow even more in your walk. I pray that you have a safe trip and that the blessings up there would be greater then the blessings down here.

The Everett Family said...

You know that you will be sorely missed! Life around here just won't be the same. I pray for joy,peace, and comfort in your new adventure!
Luv ya!

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