Wednesday, October 3, 2012

31 Days: Learning to Just BE... Loved {Day 3}

I lie in bed, awake, and wonder...
WHY did I choose so last-minute-like to write for 31 days with over a thousand other bloggers? I don't even have a clear plan of where I'm going with all of this. And the pressure? To make sure my words look good? Well...

Probably because I want to BE known. I want to BE acknowledged.
I want to BE...

But, there I go again, second-guessing EVERYTHING I do; looking for any possible hidden motive to bludgeon myself with again. Why do I always do that? This self-introspection makes me feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

He reminds me...

"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?
I, the Lord search the heart, I try the reigns [translated: emotions]... "
{Jeremiah 17:9-10}

Good, because I can't muddle through this mess in my mind some days. I know that is where the war rages. Oh wait, "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Yes, that's it. Rework my thoughts toward believing the truth. All. Day. Long. Now, I remember.

So, I pray...

"Examine me, O LORD, and prove me;
try my reins [emotions] and my heart."
{Psalm 26:2}

Interesting. That word "reins" translated into "emotions"... makes me think of how my emotions (which begin with my thoughts) can sometimes rule or direct (like reins do a horse) my life.

So, I pray some more...

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
{Psalm 139:23-24}
And, then I remember these words...
"For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things."
{1 John 3:20}
And, what I decide to saturate my thoughts in, are some of the most beautiful words, and they are like water to my thirsting heart...
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!"
{Psalm 139:13-18}
What I really need, is the deep knowing that:
I am known by the I AM.
I am acknowledged by the I AM.
I am seen by the I AM. He watched in the hidden places as I was woven together with care.
I am found in Him.
I am accepted in the Beloved.
I am His BEloved.
I am loved.
THIS is the truth that sets me free.
Today, may you... Just. BE. Loved. Beloved.


Daughter-child. You who say you dislike certain physical qualities about yourself... Don't you know who you are? You are a portrait of divine wrapped into a glorious garment of flesh. You are a radiant expression of infinite grandeur. You are created by the I AM. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are beauty-full. May you never forget this. May you always be comfortable in your own skin (sweet freckles and all). And may I be a mirror for you that is never critical. 

~ christa jean ~
Wanna read from the beginning of my 31 Days? Go here to see the whole list.
Wanna see the 1200 other bloggers doing 31 Days? Check this out!


Janelle said...

If you aren't already acquainted with this song, I think you will find it to be a real gem! :)

Anonymous said...

Now. if we really,truely believed what God says about us, we wouldn't need to strive so much. We need a little more "Mary" to our "Martha".

I, atleast, am glad to see you blog again. I've missed your writtings.

ginanorma said...

I just ADORE your heart for the Lord, you remind me of me so so much. I dig what you are doing too, this 31 days thing.. I clicked on is that a blog that had this idea/s? I almost chose one, but just wasn't sure which one to do, and then just didn't know if I could commit to it. I like that you are doing it though and what you chose.
Have you ever read Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life or Brother Lawerence's Practicing The Presence of God? Those are both AMAZING vital books to read--both changed my life!!! The Brother Lawrence one is short, and it's life altering for the better, I can't imagine my life now if I hadn't read that book. Oh I love him!

I use to seek attention and want to be known too, especially when I started my blog, bu God started taking it away from me more and more and I believe He will deliver you from it too, especially because you are seeking His face!!! He will start to ween you away from that sort of thinking...He's so beautiful that way.