Friday, November 16, 2012

You Lack No Good Thing.

The girl sounded small and frail. Her voice seemed sad.
"But, this list is full of good things, things I think God wants me to be." Her speech faltered.
The woman sitting next to her, patted her knee.
"I know, " she said, "but, it's time to stop measuring yourself against it."

That girl was me, one week ago.
That woman was a warrior of prayer, lovingly listening. Lovingly prompting.

I wondered, had she been reading my blog?
No, I didn't think so...

The List.

The List was full of things I thought a good mother should be and have; neat little lines written with ink, and a little box to check.

A Good Mother Should (in no particular order):
1. Have a clean and orderly home.
2. Have well-groomed children.
3. Have obedient children.
4. Be a business owner.
5. Be joyful.
6. Be gentle and kind.
7. Be compassionate.
8. Have a home filled with love.
9. Have a home filled with His Presence.
... and so forth and so on ...

She said I ought to tear it up.
I hesitated, "But..."
She saw right through The List, masquerading itself as "Good."
She saw that when I looked at it, all I saw was  L A C K.

I wondered, had she been reading my mind?
How did she know that I would lie awake at night and The List would haunt me and The List would taunt me. I never measured up to it.

No, she hadn't been reading my mind.
But, there is One who knows every thought before it is even thunk, and she was tuned in to His thoughts toward me.

I repented.
I repented for putting The List before His thoughts toward me.
I repented for using The List as a measuring rod and then beating myself with it.
Then I ripped The List into tiny pieces.

Ever since she said the word, "Lack" I have seen it.
In fact, I have seen it in every facet of my life.
My relationship with God lacks ______ (fill in the blank).
My marriage lacks ______.
My children lack ______.
My mothering lacks ______.
My house lacks _______.
My closet lacks ______ (surely not shoes, heh heh).

And so forth and so on.

I think it all comes back to the eyes.
I was there with Eve, took a bite of the fruit and it was riddled with worms, worms that gnaw and gnash and feast on flesh.

My spirit-eyes have been dis-eased. The way I see things has been tainted.
My flesh-eyes are diseased also, I have poor vision, astigmatism, and Giant Papillary Conjunctivitis.
The irony of this interests me.

Did you know the eyes can have parasites (warning: nasty parasite pictures)?
Parasites have got to be demon spawn. They feast on your vital organs and suck the life from you.
I'm pretty certain I don't have eye parasites in real life.

BUT, my spirit-eyes...
My parasite could be named LACK, and it's cohorts, POVERTY and SELF-PITY.
I have seen that I lack good things in my life.
I have seen that I am poor in love, not rich in Him.
I have felt sorry for myself and wallowed in the muck.

Time for a cleanse.

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” 
{Oprah Winfrey}

I am not an Oprah follower, but she nailed it.
David said it even better:

"I will bless the Lord at. all. times.
His praise shall continually be in my mouth."
{Psalm 34:1}
Praise and giving thanks are a cure for all sorts of ailments and dis-eases.
My prescription?
Morning: Praise Him. Give Thanks to Him.
Noon: Praise Him. Give Thanks to Him.
Evening: Praise Him. Give Thanks to Him.
He inhabits the praises of His people. That means, He is right there, dwelling in the midst of that moment when I whisper thanks or lift up my voice to sing.

 {The Word: sharper than any two-edged sword}
"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing."
{Psalm 34:8-10}
{free printable here!}
christa jean ~

1 comment:

Megan said...

I've been fighting off the "lack monster" myself. I had to print this out and hang it on my wall to remember that, "A Thankful Heart Is a Happy Heart".
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and heart... it encouraged me that I am not alone in these feelings and struggles.
HUGS to you!