An excerpt from my journal yesterday...
"There is such blackness in my heart.
I hide in myself
I show no love
I build up the walls
I nurse my wounds
~~but leave them open
~~so I can look at them again and again."
"For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."
~Luke 6:45~
What things come out of my mouth, reveal the attitudes of my heart.
Some days, I get so bogged down by the darkness. It's not just that we live in a world full of it, but that I can't escape it because it is walking around with me in my own shoes. Isn't there supposed to be a "new man" in me? I weary of trying to be that new creation... because I can't. Unless...
There is hope.
"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
~Romans 5:5~
He came to reconcile me to this hope. He has become the Mediator for this vile soul.
The Multitude of Angels sang of Him at His birth:
"Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"
~Luke 2:14~
Five verses later, Luke says that Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
Maybe it all rests on a choice.
"Put on the garments that suit God's chosen people, his own, his beloved: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience"
~Colossians 3:12~
"You must put on the new nature of God's creating."
~Ephesians 4:24~
"You have discarded the old nature with its deeds and have put on the new nature."
~Colossians 3:10~
"The clothes we wear are what people see. Only God can look on the heart. The outward signs are important. They reveal something of what is inside. If charity is there, it will become visible outwardly, but if you have no charitable feelings, you can still obey the command. Put it on as simply and consciously as you put on a coat. You choose it; you pick it up; you put it on. This is what you want to wear."
~my favorite quotable person, Elisabeth Elliot
What will I put on today?
fear, anger, bitterness, darkness?
or
love, peace, praise, humility, Christ.
"There is such blackness in my heart.
I hide in myself
I show no love
I build up the walls
I nurse my wounds
~~but leave them open
~~so I can look at them again and again."
"For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."
~Luke 6:45~
What things come out of my mouth, reveal the attitudes of my heart.
Some days, I get so bogged down by the darkness. It's not just that we live in a world full of it, but that I can't escape it because it is walking around with me in my own shoes. Isn't there supposed to be a "new man" in me? I weary of trying to be that new creation... because I can't. Unless...
There is hope.
"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
~Romans 5:5~
He came to reconcile me to this hope. He has become the Mediator for this vile soul.
The Multitude of Angels sang of Him at His birth:
"Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"
~Luke 2:14~
Five verses later, Luke says that Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
Maybe it all rests on a choice.
"Put on the garments that suit God's chosen people, his own, his beloved: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience"
~Colossians 3:12~
"You must put on the new nature of God's creating."
~Ephesians 4:24~
"You have discarded the old nature with its deeds and have put on the new nature."
~Colossians 3:10~
"The clothes we wear are what people see. Only God can look on the heart. The outward signs are important. They reveal something of what is inside. If charity is there, it will become visible outwardly, but if you have no charitable feelings, you can still obey the command. Put it on as simply and consciously as you put on a coat. You choose it; you pick it up; you put it on. This is what you want to wear."
~my favorite quotable person, Elisabeth Elliot
What will I put on today?
fear, anger, bitterness, darkness?
or
love, peace, praise, humility, Christ.
Dear God, Help!
It is my choice. Will I leave my old clothes where they belong? In a heap to be burned?
Those are my old clothes
~~dirty, full of holes
They must be burned
In the fires of refining
The fire in His eyes
The fire of His love.
~christa jean
It is my choice. Will I leave my old clothes where they belong? In a heap to be burned?
Those are my old clothes
~~dirty, full of holes
They must be burned
In the fires of refining
The fire in His eyes
The fire of His love.
~christa jean
6 comments:
This is so good Christa Jean. Thank you for sharing. Kathi
The weather outside isn't helping much either!
I am sorry you are walking through such a dark time my friend.I know I cannot fix it, so I hope it helps to know I have been there and still visit that place at times.
Joy comes in the morning. Sometimes it just seems like the night lasts forever. Love you!
Isa 61:3 To all who mourn in Israel,he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.
In our homeschooling today, Amy and I learned that human eyes are so sentsitive to light that on a dark night we can see a candle one mile away.
Know that even if there is darkness all around, and that the light may be super far away, it's still there. You can still see it if you try.
Psalm 36:9 says: For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.
Thank you for sharing.
I have said this verse to myself at times, too.
So did you write the entire following quote?
"There is such blackness in my heart.
I hide in myself
I show no love
I build up the walls
I nurse my wounds
~~but leave them open
~~so I can look at them again and again."
....because girrrrl, I could make a pretty sweeeeet song out of that. (Maybe) I never really know when one is gonna come. But one thing blackness does...it produces some SONGS! ;) That's a great post. Thanks.
Girlfriend must be busy... you haven't blogged in awhile? Is the blackness still being black?
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