PUT!

I love that word.
Webster's says: "to place in a specified position or relationship: LAY:
~ to send (as a weapon or missile) into or through something : THRUST... "

I especially appreciate the second meaning, thrust. For I came across this verse yesterday and will cling to it until I see the fruit I desire:

"You have put gladness in my heart,

More than in the season that their grain and wine increased.

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;

For You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety."

~Psalm 4:7-8~

I am asking of the Lord, no, crying out for Him to "thrust" joy into my very core.

I made a list a week ago of all the things I do as a mother that I truly despise. I was embarassed at how long my list was...

So, I purposed yesterday to try to change at least 2 of those bad habits.

Lord, by Your grace, help me to:

1. Speak kindly, not harshly
2. Smile into my children's eyes

I'm happy to say that overall, God did help me. Although, I am tempted to focus on where I still failed, I did do a couple of good things. I put together 8 puzzles with my oldest, and we cooked together. I made goofy faces with my middle goof and I snuggled with my youngest. By the end of the night they were oozing love for me and I wouldn't count it as my most successful day. I still didn't smile much and I raised my voice once. But maybe something in me began to soften, or maybe I just realized that while I must choose to receive, He must give. Put. Thrust.

I apologize for the heaviness of late. That's what happens when I give you a glimpse into my mind. In my mind there are battles raging. For some reason, at this time in my life, the war is fierce. But I look up at that verse again and know that I can lie down in peace and sleep.
He will keep me safe.

I like this: "I think that many of your troubles arise from an exaggerated anxiety, a secret impatience with your own faults; and this restlessness, when once it has got possession of your mind, is the cause of numberless trifling faults, which worry you, and go on adding to your burden until it becomes unbearable, I would have you honest in checking and correcting yourself, but at the same time patient under the consciousness of your frailty. Remember that Jesus our Lord loves to dwell within a quiet heart, and to come to those who are at peace with themselves; restlessness and anxiety hinder our seeing Him, even when He is beside us and speaking to us." ~PÈRE HYACINTHE BESSON ~

~christa jean