Tuesday, October 30, 2012

31 Days: Learning to Just BE... Persistent {Day 30}

Feeling a little lumpy over here.
I like even.

Feeling a little jagged over here.
I like smooth.

Feeling a little rough over here.
I like refined.

Feeling a lot broken.
I like whole.

Didn't I say I wasn't going to be trusting my feelings anymore? Trusting Him and who I am in Him would be so much more reliable!

I see that the Holy Spirit is ever drawing me out of perfectionism. Some days, I feel strangled by it and I'm running around like a headless chicken. And I'm rushing my children around to fit into my mold of "clean."

Time out.
He is ever drawing me...
"Come on, come on, lift your eyes up,
Lift your eyes up to the hills."
Lest I forget.
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
{Psalm 121:1-2
Whispers, coming steady, invading my dark thoughts.
Reminding me to stay in the game. To cast off the shroud of discouragement.
I read in Luke 11 about the persistent friend, who sought bread... I need the Bread of Life.
I read on and see that all it takes is asking, seeking, knocking.
A little further now, and these words resonate...
"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”
{Luke 11:13}
He is a Good Father. What have I been asking for?
I've been longing for freedom. But do I ask for it? Seek for it? Knock a little harder? Persist to get the Bread that will sustain?
The bread I've been accustomed to of late, is worm-ridden and rotten; poison to my soul.
Baked in the furnace of hell.
Keep reading on. Words of Life. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
"But if I cast out demons with the finger of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you.  When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace. 
But when a stronger than he comes upon him and overcomes him, he takes from him all his armor in which he trusted, and divides his spoils"
{Luke 11:20-22}
I happen to know this "Stronger Than He."
I fall on my face before Him in all my lumpy, jagged, rough, brokeness.
And, He. He pulls me to my feet and we dance.

christa jean ~

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