Monday, July 21, 2008

Sappy Had.

That was my silly attempt at combining my feelings today.
I am sad.
I am happy.

Sad because in just a few weeks, I would have been due with that little bird who flew away.
I would have been experiencing some pre-labor I'm sure and getting my bags packed.

But that was not meant to be.

Now that your thoroughly saddened with me, let's take a turn toward life.
I am happy because today I am 16 weeks along with the next little blessing! I was slightly fearful between week 9 and week 15. But that has past, only trust remains.
I have heard this little one's heart beating 2 times now, steady and strong. At the first hearing of that miracle sound, my midwife said "That is the best heartbeat I've heard in a long time!" I knew there was double meaning to those words. She walked through the hard times with me.

My baby looks like this today:

Miracle of life. So beautiful. Inside me. Wonderment.

My belly is getting rotund and my barely there chest is finally perking up!

I am thankful to the Author of all life today.

~ christa jean


Tiffany said...

Isn't it a mixed bag, the roller coaster we feel in a subsequent pregnancy? There is the high of knowing a new one is growing within, and the low of missing the one you will not hold.

I am so touched at the photo of what your baby looks like now. So miraculous and sweet.

Liz said...

Wow--you're already 16 weeks! That's so wonderful!

One thing that amazes me realizing how after a miscarriage our subsequent children would not have been! There might've been others but... my Owen, my Juliet would not be the same God ordained egg & sperm that made them them! It's so mind-blowing! Humbling, confusing, faith bolstering...

I so look forward to meeting those special ones chosen to be taken straight up to heaven for reasons we don't yet understand! Christ's closest little followers perhaps in their dying, that others might live!

Sappy had is priceless by the way.

Hope you're feeling well!

Feathering My Nest said...

This is such a touching post Christa Jean. The look on your daughter's face is so moving. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one, but rejoicing that he or she is with the Lord, and your new little one is on the way. I remember those same feelings of joy and fear, but always trusting the Lord. God bless you sweetie. Kathi

The Everett Family said...

There is a deeper appreciation and gratitude for the things in life when it comes after loss or hardship. I know this little one to come with be a special treasure.